Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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