shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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