everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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