put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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