So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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