Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
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