i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
