Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
