Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
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and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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