Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
