**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
