so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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