we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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