Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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