I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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