I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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