I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
