Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
