Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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