That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
