On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
