Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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