Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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