big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
