I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
