Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
