Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
