My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
