After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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