We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
