marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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