So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
