On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
