in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
