my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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