Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

And mexicans. My burrito likes you.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.

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(815): View more from Illinois

the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.

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(303): View more from Colorado

accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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(917): View more from New York City

How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?

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(206): View more from Washington

Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????

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(708): View more from Illinois

worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?

(630): View more from Illinois

...I don't remember telling you about that but yes

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