Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.

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  (908): So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later. http://tfl.nu/fk1y
  Replies (8) Good night (812) Bad night (1516)
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  (310): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.

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  (310): I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today. http://tfl.nu/yukz
  Replies (8) Good night (5327) Bad night (743)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

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  (416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross (647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun http://tfl.nu/i4zj
  Replies (12) Good night (889) Bad night (3615)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...

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  (317): You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang... http://tfl.nu/ct1j
  Replies (35) Good night (4940) Bad night (2059)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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  (740): So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot? http://tfl.nu/xzhr
  Replies (16) Good night (4507) Bad night (951)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my cup is half full, half full of rum.

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  (603): my cup is half full, half full of rum. http://tfl.nu/ajky
  Replies (11) Good night (5401) Bad night (898)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami

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  (+44): he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami http://tfl.nu/r6ze
  Replies (22) Good night (1217) Bad night (3920)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.

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  (301): Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/mimi
  Replies (21) Good night (2547) Bad night (1260)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

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  (915): I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something. http://tfl.nu/u0v6
  Replies (5) Good night (3157) Bad night (906)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.

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  (518): Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday. http://tfl.nu/c6q7
  Replies (13) Good night (3392) Bad night (1375)
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  (530): View more from California

  red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.

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  (530): red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song. http://tfl.nu/0nv8
  Replies (10) Good night (2153) Bad night (652)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"

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  (440): As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today" http://tfl.nu/8gjm
  Replies (3) Good night (791) Bad night (1458)
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  (510): View more from California

  I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus

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  (510): I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus http://tfl.nu/am4v
  Replies (5) Good night (654) Bad night (359)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had a burrito last night in your honor

  (208): View more from Idaho

  That's the nicest thing you've ever done

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  (814): Had a burrito last night in your honor (208): That's the nicest thing you've ever done http://tfl.nu/rt3e
  Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (272)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.

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  (970): Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/0i73
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (343)

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