I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
