Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight. http://tfl.nu/07n7
  Replies (27) Good night (5121) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard. http://tfl.nu/xu4e
  Replies (9) Good night (4213) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning. http://tfl.nu/ecmy
  Replies (23) Good night (3190) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now http://tfl.nu/h0c8
  Replies (9) Good night (3318) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem http://tfl.nu/7afw
  Replies (27) Good night (1352) Bad night (4144)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2 http://tfl.nu/hna9
  Replies (9) Good night (1459) Bad night (2945)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs. http://tfl.nu/lvji
  Replies (2) Good night (1299) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you http://tfl.nu/77ha
  Replies (14) Good night (1447) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow. http://tfl.nu/oilf
  Replies (11) Good night (1382) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days

  (1-308): View more from Nebraska

  Are you goin to rehab again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days (1-308): Are you goin to rehab again? http://tfl.nu/dce0
  Replies (13) Good night (824) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
  Replies (3) Good night (1959) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yvvk
  Replies (8) Good night (1115) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me http://tfl.nu/sh43
  Replies (7) Good night (945) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match http://tfl.nu/tsdg
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon. http://tfl.nu/5e1u
  Replies (2) Good night (217) Bad night (344)

Randomize