Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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  (512): My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle http://tfl.nu/nk60
  Replies (44) Good night (2736) Bad night (925)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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  (403): Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack. http://tfl.nu/lh8d
  Replies (12) Good night (2475) Bad night (746)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.

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  (352): You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem. http://tfl.nu/rwe9
  Replies (12) Good night (5179) Bad night (751)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.

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  (412): remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories. http://tfl.nu/emk4
  Replies (11) Good night (5872) Bad night (1325)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

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  (860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0
  Replies (57) Good night (1572) Bad night (6920)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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  (778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74
  Replies (7) Good night (4275) Bad night (1539)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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  (330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy
  Replies (8) Good night (4501) Bad night (1045)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

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  (407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13
  Replies (13) Good night (1007) Bad night (3942)
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  (212): View more from New York

  So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober

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  (212): So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober http://tfl.nu/1m5a
  Replies (6) Good night (3153) Bad night (947)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

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  (201): Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/of56
  Replies (30) Good night (7172) Bad night (980)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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  (719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq
  Replies (7) Good night (646) Bad night (1845)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence

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  (845): Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/8d0r
  Replies (8) Good night (1470) Bad night (469)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.

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  (717): I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country. http://tfl.nu/ua5o
  Replies (4) Good night (1604) Bad night (440)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.

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  (956): There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried. http://tfl.nu/mygr
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (385)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers

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  (605): Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers http://tfl.nu/23r1
  Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (587)

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