I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!