What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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