I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize