party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
