i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
