So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
