it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
