Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
