weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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