I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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