try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
