And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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