I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
