trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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