So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
