I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
