let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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