ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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