it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
