im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
