How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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