Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
